The death of Yuffie
by StephenThePlaystationDude
Summary: A final fantasy 7 parody! Sorry Yuffie fans, but I do not like Yuffie, AT ALL. Do not read if you're a Yuffie fan. Rated T for some strong language. From the maker of "The revival of Aeris."


**The death of Yuffie**

**Rated T for some strong language and a violent death of Yuffie.**

**Wow, just wow. I never thought I'd ever be making another Final fantasy 7 fanfic. This one deals with my huge hatred of Yuffie. I'm sorry Yuffie fans who will probably send me negative reviews, but I do not like Yuffie AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT. Everybody's opinion is different I'm sure, but to me Yuffie is the biggest bitch in all of video games. I can probably deal with her stealing my materia in Final Fantasy 7. But just the fact that she whines all the time and is a complete selfish asshole is enough to push me over the edge, and I can't stand that cocky attitude of hers. I hate how she thinks she's the best ninja of all time. At first I could tolerate her ways in Final Fantasy 7 and I hated her in a way I could least tolerate her and not want her dead, but then I brought Final Fantasy 7 Crisis Core for the PSP and saw how she was in that game. And I thought no more. Death to Yuffie! **

**Now I know I said I had brought Final Fantasy Crisis Core, but this takes place in the timeline of the original Final Fantasy 7.**

Cloud, Tifa and Yuffie were staying in an Inn in Nibelheim, the three were still trying to figure out the mystery why the town wasn't burnt down. Well forget three. Cloud and Tifa were concerned. Yuffie just wanted to go and fight everybody.

"God, she's like some kind of ninja Scrappy Doo." Cloud thought as he watched her sleep. "And just as equally annoying."

Tifa came in "Hey, Cloud. Check out this type of materia I brought."

"It looks like a normal Fire materia. What about it?" Cloud asked.

"Wrong! It's called Boobytrap materia." Tifa replied "The purpose of this materia is that if anybody tries to use it. Horrible things will happen to the user. It's to punish thieves from stealing your materia."

"Boobytrap materia Tifa? I've never heard of such a thing. Where did you even buy this?"

"Off a random man off the street."

"A random man? Tifa, I think you might've been conned. How much did you pay for this?"

"10,000 gil."

Cloud's eyes widened. "10,000 gil! Oh man..."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh that's all right. At least that's not the most expensive thing we've had to buy. Hmmm...You never know. The man might've been telling the truth. But how do we see if it works and it's not just a normal fire materia? I'm not going to try a materia that might kill me."

"Same here! How do we see if it works?"

Cloud and Tifa then saw Yuffie snoring away in her bed. She still hadn't woken up. Cloud found it unbelivable how much her snoring sounded just like a rusty chainsaw.

Tifa folded her arms. "Honestly warthogs snore quietly than she does."

Then a smile appeared in both Cloud and Tifa's faces.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Cloud smiled at her.

"Yep!" Tifa smiled back to Cloud.

"Hey, Yuffie." Cloud said to Yuffie. "Wake up, we have a gift for you."

Yuffie talked in her sleep. "That's right homeless man, you give me that gil. Nobody can stop the ultimate ninja!"

"YUFFIE!" Cloud shouted.

Yuffie's eyes jerked awake. "Mm...what!"

"I have a gift for you." Cloud gave her the Fire-looking materia.

"Alright MATERIA!" Yuffie shouted in excitement "I knew you'd give it up to me sooner or later!"

"Eerrrr...this is just a gift."

"Whatever, this is awesome!" Yuffie shouted in glee. "I'm gonna try it out right now. Later, losers!"

Tifa frowned. "We give her a gift, and she calls us losers?"

"It's Yuffie, what did you expect?" Cloud answered back. "C'mon let's go spy on her."

Yuffie then went outside Nibelheim, and was prepared to try out the materia on some monsters, she was about to use it on a monster that looked very much like a tiny living cactus. Cloud and Tifa stood watching her behind some bushes. However instead of casting a Fire3 spell. A giant bubble formed all around her.

"What the hell?" Yuffie said, quite frightened. The Bubble then lifted her off the ground. After lifting her a short distance off the ground. The Bubble then exploded showering Cloud and Tifa with blood, gore and bits of Yuffie. The cactus monster scared of the explosion ran off.

"WHOA!" Cloud and Tifa said amazed.

"Random, but I love it!" Cloud then grinned.

"Wait tell I tell the others! They'll love it." Tifa then also grinned "Can I use the PHS?"

"Sure!" Cloud handed her the PHS "We should celebrate. I think the Gold Saucer does parties. And not just birthday parties, they can be parties on any kind of occasion!"

And so that night. Cloud and the others went and had a party at the Gold Saucer to celebrate. Cid brought along a bottle of champagne and some of his music CD's from home, while Aeris brought along some food. Yuffie's death was a great reason to celebrate.

THE END.


End file.
